You Might Be a SAHM if…

… you see pirate space aliens (like the one pictured above) in your kitchen all the time.

… you can’t understand why the mail isn’t running today. National holiday? On a Saturday? You mean, today isn’t Saturday? (In my defense, the confusion is also due to the fact that no one here seems to get the day off for MLK day. Especially not pastors, which is ironic since Dr. King was a pastor, but anyhoo…)

… you have a set schedule for all household chores, and (once you figure out it’s actually Monday, of course) you can’t force yourself to NOT do the laundry since that’s what Mondays are for, after all.

… you covet naptimes so that you can use them to catch up on scrapbooking, which you can’t do any other time. Unless you want all of your pictures, paper, and pages stepped on, smudged, generally nastied up, etc.

… you know how to properly sanitize Barbies that have gone for a little swim in the toilet. (Don’t ask.)

… you can prepare a toddler pancake breakfast with your eyes closed. (And do, more often than not, thanks to 3am visits from a three year old who insists that it’s already morning.)

… you have stickers on every piece of clothing you own. And on every piece of furniture in your house. And on every thread of carpet. Just basically EVERYWHERE.

… you regularly answer multiple questions that lead to more questions, all of which seem to have the same answer. “Mommy, where did we get this milk?” “The store.” “Mommy, where did we get this cheese?” “The store.” “Mommy, where did we get this bread?” “The store.” Etc, etc, etc.

… you have numerous Disney movies memorized.

… you’re more than ready for a little vacation.

Hope you’re having a great week!

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