Mother’s Day Funnies

(photo by Kim Hocott)

Some funnies for your Mother’s Day weekend…

– Ana to me, while I was working some bad tangles out of her hair, “I am having a bad hair day.” We all have those from time to time…

– Em to Ana, who had gotten paint on her upper lip, “Ana, you are HANDSOME!”

– Ana, as I carried pizza boxes out to the car, “You should be a waitress!” That or a pizza delivery guy.

– Em, holding a stuffed puppy dog up to my face, “Hey! This puppy looks like you!” Me to Em, “Are you saying I look like a dog?” Em to me, “Yeah! You look like this one!”

– Ana, “Mommy, I don’t like you. I LOVE you!” Me, “Aww… that’s so sweet!” Ana, “Yeah, just remember — I don’t like you.” Maybe that’s not as sweet as I thought…

– Em, in a panic over a tornado warning (in Houston!) the other night, “What if the house falls on us?!” Ana to Emma, “Oh, the house won’t fall down, Emma.” Me to Emma, “We’ll be just fine — don’t worry.” Ana to me, “Well, we could DIE, you know.” Emma to us, “What?!” Ana to Emma, “But only if there’s a hurricane. Or a typhoon. Mommy, do we get typhoons in Pasadena?” Cue Emma bursting into tears. Excellent.

– Ana to me, while writing on a notepad as we played restaurant, “Okay, do you want the pizza or vajeedas?” Even after looking to see what she had written down, it still took me some time to figure out that she meant fajitas. (And the word she wrote down was really close to something else. Hooray for phonetic spelling and the innocent and pure mind of a five year old!)

– Em, after talking face-to-face with Wes on the phone, “OK, now call the Fresh Beat Band.” If we couldn’t even get tickets to the concert, I’m pretty sure we can’t get them on the phone…

– Em to me, “We’re getting you a baby chimp for Mother’s Day!” Because all this house needs is another little monkey…

– Me to Ana on the subject of her dual language testing, “Well, how did you do?” Ana to me, “I smiled a lot.” They may not know how well she knows English, but they’ll remember how pleasant she was!

– Em to me, regarding a girl on TV, “That girl is from the United States of America.” Me to Emma, “Who else is from the United States of America?” Emma to me, “I don’t know.” Clearly, there is no geography portion of Elephant Academy.

– Ana to me, “Mommy, last night I weighed 190.5 pounds!” If that was true, she lost 150 pounds by sleeping. If only that were possible, right? (I think the 190.5 was a misread of her 101.5 thermometer calculation. Maybe. You never know with Ana.)

– Em at the grocery store, “I prayed that God would help me love everyone, and He did! He is so good to me. He gave me a gigantic heart, and — MOMMY! LUCKY CHARMS! LUCKY CHARMS!” Great spiritual insight interrupted by sugary cereal. Mmm, Lucky Charms…

– Ana to Em, who was talking to Charlie, “He doesn’t understand English, Emma. He’s GERMAN.” Well, he IS a German Shepherd. Perhaps we need to hook him up with an English Bulldog so he can expand his linguistic horizons.

– Em to me, regarding why Miss Kim loves Mr. Derrick (friends of ours from church), “Well, he IS super handsome.” What did I tell you? Emma is all about men with facial hair.

– Em to me, with a gasp of shock the other day, “Aunt Kerry’s mommy is Gram, and YOUR mommy is Gram! YOU HAVE THE SAME MOMMY!” This wasn’t nearly as shocking to her as the revelation that followed — I am Aunt Kerry’s YOUNGER sister. “NOOOO!!!” Thanks a lot, Em.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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