More Faulkette Funnies

– Nine mile run early this week. Wes and the girls came up to the park to cheer me on, and the girls were delighted when a horde of baby ducklings started following me like I was their mother. “It’s because you were wearing YELLOW!,” Em said. Or maybe I just smelled “fowl.” (Ha! So punny, y’all!)

– Emma after eating a big meal, “I’m FULL! Can I have a snack?” Always room in that garbage disposal tummy for a snack.

– Ana, after we told her that electronics are Wes’s weakness and jewelry is my weakness, “Magazines are my weakness. I can’t read just one of them!” Thank goodness magazines are cheaper than electronics and jewelry!

– Emma, regarding a puppy we saw, “He was such a PIE!” Turns out she meant “sweetie pie.”

– Ana, as we were talking about a baby shower, “This is a party where the mommy gets presents. They don’t give the baby a shower at the baby shower.” Well, then, the name is very misleading.

– Emma, “Look, Ana, I can get Charlie to bite my NOSE!” I’m happy to report that no matter what she did Charlie wouldn’t bite her. (Though, he did keep looking at me as if to beg, “Pleeeeeaaaase! She’s asking for it!”)

– Ana, on the subject of a red boo boo that showed up on her forehead one day, “I look like I’m from India!” She did. (And where did she learn that? Awesome little sponge of a brain!)

– Emma, when asked who was Jesus’s cousin, “Johnny Tamale!” The correct answer was John the Baptist, so she kinda got this right… except not at all.

– Me to Emma as I tucked her in, “You smell like donuts.” Emma to me, “And you smell like fried chicken.” I’ll take that as a compliment.

– Called the girls in to fold their part of the laundry. As they were finishing up, Emma told me, “Now, you just call me if you need any more help.” I’ll assume this offer will be good for the next thirteen years because I will certainly be taking her up on it.

– Ana to me, “Remember that time we accidentally went into the men’s room?” (Guilty. We did.) Me to Ana, “Yeah, let’s not do that again.” Ana to me, “No, let’s not, because if we do, they’ll call the police and they’ll arrest us and put us in jail and we’ll only get to eat bread and water.” Subsisting on little more than bread and water, all because we couldn’t tell the men’s room from the women’s room. Sad day.

– Emma to Ana, when Ana barely scratched her leg while they were playing (and moaned on and on about it), “You want me to get you a wheelchair?” I don’t know if she was being sincere or sarcastic. Hilarious either way, though!

– Ana to me, when I was singing very exuberantly to a Maroon 5 song, “Is this song about Jesus, Mommy?” Well, no, it isn’t. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

– Emma to me, as I told her we needed to go by Home Depot, “The Kung Fu Panda is named Po.” And that was your daily, random thought from Emma.

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