So, I’m interrupting my own Disney recaps to report this shocking news…
Parenting is hard.
Yes, you heard it here first. Actually, you’ve probably heard it more than a few times. And honestly? You’ve probably heard it HERE more than a few times as well.
We’ve recently entered into a frustrating season with Emma. Yes, carefree, easygoing, never a trouble in the world Emma. You would think that having a child with her disposition would be “easy peasy lemon squeezy” like she always likes to say, but when you can’t get her to listen or take anything seriously, it’s so easy to get frustrated and upset. And then, it’s easy to get even MORE frustrated and upset when you see that your own emotional meltdown has no effect at all on her, as she continues skipping around obliviously, like a little chimpanzee set loose in the jungle. AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!
I spend a good portion of my time worrying that I’m doing wrong by Emma. Was I too easy on her when she was younger? Was I too hard on her when she was younger? Did I not spend enough time with her? Did I spend too much time with her? Am I expecting her to be older than she is? Am I treating her like a baby? Is she like she is because that’s just Emma, or is her behavior an indication of some misstep on my part?
Beyond all this, I have the nagging sense that I’m all alone with these fears. Because when my little chimp is skipping through the halls at church, singing at the top of her lungs, and everyone acts like it’s just the cutest thing ever and I’m pulling out large clumps of my hair as I chase her down, I begin to think that no one struggles with this. And I’m tempted to pretend that I know what I’m doing, when what I really want to do is fall at the feet of more experienced parents, particularly those who have raised their own children into adulthood, and screech, “HELP! HELP! HELP!!!”
I yearn for more transparency, for more authenticity, and for more “realness” in parenting across the generations. I never see it, or in some instances the LACK of it, more clearly than in church where we’re blessed to have multiple generations together yet we’re so scared to be real about what life outside the church walls is honestly like. And we all pretend like we have it together, and we pretend like everyone around us has it all together when, honestly? I DON’T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER, Y’ALL. And on nights like the one I had last night, I just want to crawl into a corner and cry because being someone’s mother is hard. I have no clue what I’m doing. What I wouldn’t give some days for someone to say, “I’ve been there. It IS hard. And I still don’t have it all figured out either.”
God is good. And I pray His grace and His redemption over my failures as a parent and pray for His goodness and His grace to do far more for Emma than I could. As I do this, I’m praying for authentic mentors and encouragers who can spur those of us still in the trenches of parenthood on towards greater victories. And I pray that I would learn the lessons myself so that one day? I can do the same.
6 thoughts on “Parenting HEEELLLPPPP!!!!”
I feel the same way. I long for a older woman to just step up and be my mentor, but since that hasn't happened yet, I just read a great book called 1, 2, 3 Magic Christian Parenting. It was really good and made me feel not quite so crazy. Here's the website, but I just checked it out from our library: http://www.123magic.com/
Yes, yes, yes!
I found your blog through my friend Tana, on Facebook. This is EXACTLY what I have been thinking about lately (and talking to a few people about too. Seems to be a common theme among many young moms lately)! I am 33 with 4 kids ages 6 & under. Wondering when the older generation is going to step up and say or do something, anything, just stop saying nothing! Just got Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson's new book “Desperate.” It was written to address some of what you write about above.
Hope God gives you exactly what you need for each moment of your day today!
Hugs, Jenn! I had 4 kids in 6 1/2 years (exactly 6.5 years – nearly to the hour – between child #1 and child #4) so I had my hands full. Just know that you are NOT alone. Parenting is hard.PERIOD! No matter HOW old your kids are, there are always new issues to deal with as a parent. (Once they reach the age of maturity they are responsible for their own actions, but it doesn't stop the parental concern!)
If it is any consolation, I think you're doing a GREAT job as a mommy 🙂 But if sometimes you feel that you're not doing such a great job, take it to the Lord….He knows all about wayward children (ahem….Adam and Eve).
I'll have to look for that book! And as far as mentors go, I think letting people know we're vulnerable in this and wanting encouragement goes a long way. I've had several ladies in my church step in with good words and support after reading this. Praying that you would find ladies who are walking the road before you who would do the same!
I've heard of that book — will definitely look into it! Praying that you would find older moms who would encourage you. Praying that our generation would be mindful of this when we're in their place as well!
Thank you so much! I always really appreciate your comments. 🙂 I had several ladies from our church tell me, after reading this, the EXACT same thing — that “there are always new issues to deal with as a parent” even when they're adults. It's an encouragement to know that others are on this journey as well!