Faulkette Funnies

Ana, when we were discussing which princess Emma should dress as when we visit Walt Disney World next fall, “Em should be Belle. And I will be Hercules.” Well, okay, then.

Emma to me, after I asked her repeatedly to do something, “What? I guess I was not listening.” Obviously not.

Emma, regarding her hairstyle, “I want my hair long so I will look like all the other girls.” She’s FIVE. Oh, mercy. These things happen too early!

Emma, sighing, “I wish I was grown up already so I could find myself a husband.” FIVE, people, FIVE! (Kudos to Wes, who is her only frame of reference when it comes to what a husband should be. He’s so great that she’s ready to get one for herself!)

Ana, when Emma freaked out about a pile of dog poo (sigh), “Emma, how would YOU feel if a dog said your poo stunk?”  Not even sure where to begin with this one, friends.  Compassion for canines, a complete lack of self-awareness over bodily functions, talking animals — take your pick!

Emma, on that same nature walk, passing by some lilac, “Mmmm, it smells like Nana!”  Glad she attributed the pleasant smells to those she loves instead of unpleasant smells.  (See the previous funny, for example.)

Emma, screeching about a bug in her room, “A BUG!  A BUG!”  Me to Em, “Okay, I’m going to kill it.”  Emma to me, “DON’T KILL IT!  IT’S A LIVING THING!”  Would you like me to escort him outside instead, just so he can find his way back in, starting the screeching process all over again?!

Ana to me, on why she’s glad she’s a girl, “Boys are weirdos.”  True enough.

Emma, jumping around the kitchen in a mermaid costume, “I’m a COW, y’all!  A COW!”  A moo, moo mermaid… I guess.

Ana, regarding the matchup of the OKC Thunder and our Rockets, “Well, Oklahoma is a great team, and we are a great team, too… but we have some oopsies during the games.” She speaks the truth, y’all.

Emma to Ana in English, after speaking beautiful Spanish, “Hey, how much years are you?” Me to Wes, “I think her Spanish is better than her English.” Por que, Emmy, por que?!

Ana to Emma, “Stop hitting yourself.  That’s not respecting God.”  Leave it to Ana to make everything about how spiritually deficient her sister is.

Emma to me, “When I grow up, I will look just like you.” Ana to me, “When I grow up, I will look just like Papi. Except I won’t have a beard.” Let’s hope she’s right about that.

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