Faulkette Funnies

Me to Ana, after reading the Little Mermaid to her, “What can we learn from this?” You know, expecting that she’d say something about Ariel’s father’s sacrifice, love, etc. “Well, you really should think about going to the sea witch to get a boy.” Thanks for that, Disney.

Emma to me, regarding a song about coffee, “This song must be about Papi.  Because he is NOT happy without his coffee.”  She speaks the truth.

Ana, when I was attempting to help her with homework, “Not to brag or anything… but I think I’m smarter than you.”  Emma to me, “Yeah!  You need a Spanish class!”  You’re telling me…

Emma, yelling at Ana, as Ana yelled for me, “There is only ONE Mommy, Ana!”  This was what she got from me saying that I could only be in one place at one time.  She started imagining the possibility of multiple Mommies.  (Sure would make life a little simpler around here…)

Ana to me, “Nothing can stop the power of love.”  Before I could respond to this random, deep thought, Emma piped up with, “Nothing can stop the power of mean…. just Jesus!”  True that.

Emma, getting into the car after school, so proud of herself, “I almost finished my work today!”  Given her recent issues, we were celebrating this like she’d just won the Nobel prize.

Wes to a super spotty Em, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?” Em to Wes, “You do. Every day.”  Aww….

Emma, at the Astros game, “How many points do they have?”  Me to Em, “Zero.”  Em to me, “How many points does the other team have?”  Me to Em, “One.”  Em to me, “HUH?!”  These girls are accustomed to basketball games and scores.  Baseball?  They just don’t get it.  (Me neither, honestly.)

Ana, reading her Spanish homework to me, “Mi Papa es muy inteligente.”  Me to Ana, “Well, yours is.  Oh, wait, I thought you said Papi was muy caliente.”  Ana, grinning at me, “Mommy, he is not HOT.”  Funny in any language, y’all.  Ha! 

Emma, after asking me to hold her giant lollipop, “And you can even have a lick or two if you’d like!”  So sweet!  (And I was planning on it, kid, just as soon as you turned your little back.)

Ana, eating the food off my plate and recalling a story from my childhood when I ate Gram’s food off of her plate, “That was so sad that you did that to Gram.”  Me to Ana, “And you’re saying that while doing the same thing to me.  That’s called irony, Ana.”  Ana to me, “Yes, it’s ironic.”  Yes, indeed.

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