Faulkette Funnies

Crowded, public restroom.  Moment of horror when I realize that the child singing a super jazzy version of “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” at the top of her lungs, so that all of Pasadena, nay, all of Houston can hear?  Is MY child.  Humiliation is only magnified when she announces, in the same super loud voice, “My bottom is itchy.  Mommy!  Should I itch my bottom while I’m in here?”  (And, shock of all shocks, this was ANA who was doing this!)

Emma, regarding the day she’d had, “It was so great!  We had a FIRE DRILL!”  It doesn’t take much to spice up first grade.

Ana to Emma, regarding the day she’d had, “I saw two people throw up in the hall.”  Second grade is obviously more exciting.

Ana, looking at the “Super Target and Pharmacy” sign, “That says pharmacy.”  Emma to Ana, “Oh… I thought it said Target.”  Can they BOTH be right?

Ana, watching a commercial where a guy runs through all kinds of terrains and weather with one set of earbuds, “Mommy, I think they’re trying to get you to buy those earbuds!”  That would be the point of ALL commercials.

Wes, after hearing that male seahorses are the ones to carry around the babies in their pouches, “What kind of messed up world is that?!”  It happens.

Ana to Wes, clmbing out of the shopping cart he was pushing, “Thank you, kind bus driver.  Here is a dollar.”  Shopping carts are to pouches as Papis are to seahorses… just saying.  (And he got tipped a dollar!)

Ana to me, regarding her future plans, “I’m going to have a job.”  Emma to me, regarding her future plans, “I’m going to have a husband and kids.”  Both are going to work hard.

Me to Ana, as I looked longingly over at the baby aisles at the store, “Ana, do you think you’d like to have another baby sister?”  Ana to me, “No, I think I’d rather have one of these wind-up toys.”  The wind-up toys she was talking about were $5.  Well, that would certainly be cheaper…

Ana to me, “How far are you going to run today?”  Me to Ana, “Twelve miles.”  Ana to me, “Well, that’s a lot.”  Me to Ana, “You think?”  Ana to me, “Yeah.  Anything over a mile is a lot, though.”  There’s my encouragement!

Emma to Nana, regarding her new hair color, “Did you spray your hair orange?”  Umm…

Emma to Coach, as he said he couldn’t do math like she could, “Well, that’s because you didn’t take Spanish.”  Because math can NEVER be taught in any language but Spanish.  (That’s been her experience, at least.)

Wes to the girls, “Where should I take Mommy on a romantic anniversary trip?” Emma, “Gram and Gramps’ house!” Yeah, I don’t think so.  (They then suggested Chick Fil A and Casa Ole.  Because I like both of those.  Meh.)

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