Faulkette Funnies

Faulkette funnies for your Friday…

As I was singing “Single Ladies” to the girls (yes, really), I stopped and asked Ana, “Hey.  Are you a single lady?”  Ana to me, “Yeah.  Woot, woot!”  Awesome.

Emma on the subject of who she’ll let “put a ring on it” (I should be ashamed, I know), “When he puts a ring on my finger, I will ask him, ‘Do you know God?’ And if he says, ‘No, I do not,’ I will say, ‘NOOOO!!!”  Well, I hope you have that conversation LONG before he proposes, but good deal.

Emma to Ana in the Target parking lot, “Oh, NO, Ana!  That boy is SMOKING!”  Dear random smoker in the Target parking lot, it’s not that my girls are judging you for smoking.  It’s that they honestly believe they will DIE from just one whiff of secondhand smoke.  You can thank my grandmother for this.

Ana to me, “Cat got your tongue?”  Me to Ana, “What?”  Ana to me, “It’s an idiom, Mommy.  I didn’t mean it in a literal sense.”  No kidding.  But thanks for the English lesson.  (And holy cow!  They’re teaching this stuff in the second grade?!)

Ana to me, on the subject of Wes getting slim and trim with all of this insane running he does, “He’ll be so handsome that EVERY girl will want to be married to him.”  Probably.

Emma to me, “When I have kids one day, I will take all of them to the grocery store with me where we will buy you lots of boxes of Froot Loops.”  This one?  She really loves me.

Ana to Wes, as he was whispering in my ear at dinner, “What do you think this is?  A date?”  It’s so refreshing when the product of romance just goes and kills romance completely, you know?

Emma, upon seeing a mannequin at the store, “There’s a HEADLESS woman!”  She continued on at the store by greeting every mannequin with, “Hello there, headless man!  Hi, headless lady!”  I promise — we do take her out of the house every now and then.

Ana, on the subject of swim trunks, “Are those anything like elephant trunks?”  Not quite.

Emma, on the same subject, “Papi needs some googles.”  Me to Emma, “Don’t you mean goggles?”  Emma to me, “That, too.”

Ana, on the subject of Lent, “Maybe you should give up Mexican Cokes since you love them so much, huh?”  Thanks for the suggestion, Ana.  Now kindly stop trying to be my pint-sized Jesus!

Emma to me, “Weeeeeeellll, the teachers sent me to the cafeteria so that I could get ALLLL the other students to try and be quiet, like on voice level ZERO, you know, and I did my best, but it was so hard and it took SOOOO long that I almost MISSED my spelling test, but I didn’t because I made a 100 on the spelling test, so I got a sticker, but then I LOSE-DED the STICKER!  Can you believe that?!”  Um… which part, exactly?

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