The other day, someone asked me if Wes helps out much around the house.
I thought for a second before answering. I always want to speak highly of Wes, to “praise him at the city gates,” so to speak, because I know that’s what God calls me to do as his helper and his wife. Most of the time, though, I speak highly of him simply because he lives up to every wonderful thing I could say. And, more than that, because I love him and think he’s the greatest guy in the world. Honestly!
But housework? Wes once told me that if I die before he does, he’s going to preach my funeral, mainly so he can cry from the pulpit and beg someone to come help him with the laundry, help him clean the house, help him fix the girls’ hair, help him figure out my accounting system, and please — for the love of all that is good! — help him find the remote control because he can never find it on his own. (I told him to just parade out the girls, looking so pathetic after he’s fixed their hair, and he’ll have tons of ladies wanting to help him out. He’ll be remarried before he can preach the graveside service. I honestly, sincerely pray for this to happen!)
Obviously, he doesn’t help out much.
Now, before you gasp and begin to tell me about YOUR wonderful son or husband or random stranger down the street, who helps with EVERYTHING, let me explain that I think Wes does MORE than his share of things when it comes to being a part of the Faulk Four. I read so many mommy blogs about ALL that we do as stay-at-home moms and how our men just don’t always get how hard our lives are. And while being at home and managing a home and training children and being a homemaker can be hard… most of our men (especially if we have the luxury of being at home) are working even harder than we are, honestly.
While I’m at home, doing (oh, woe is me!) everything by myself, Wes is…
– Getting up at the crack of dawn to get in his quiet time and his workout because he’s always on call as a pastor and the opportunity may not be there at the end of the typical work day.
– Going to work, every day, no matter what.
– Working on the hard days, persevering even when things are not sunshine and kittens at the church, walking with people through difficulties, dealing with one issue after the other, being an administrator, being a counselor, being a teacher, being a fix-it-all guy, being a pastor, being who God has called him to be.
– Cutting corners he shouldn’t have to cut as a man with a graduate degree, earning a good living. He drives a tiny joke of a car (have you seen it?), takes a sandwich lunch to work with him (PB&J most days), and wears shirts that pre-date our marriage instead of buying new clothes when he feels like it — all because he’s joyfully supporting three other people. (“You’d be living large if you were single without all these people to take care of,” I once told him while working on our budget. “I’d be so sad without you, though,” he answered. Aww!)
– Planning for our future, always careful to make sure that even if something happens to him and he can’t provide, we’ll be taken care of long enough to get back on our feet and be okay. And this, y’all, costs him luxuries and indulgences today, saving for our tomorrow, just in case he isn’t there with us.
All of that! How is it fair that he does ALL of that, all by himself? It doesn’t seem fair at all, does it? And so when he comes home, I want him to be able to be done with work, to be finished with responsibility, and to simply ENJOY being home. And he does. And wow, am I blessed that what he enjoys is spending time with his children, reading them stories, staying up late to talk with me, and giving us his attention, even after a full day of doing the same with everyone who came across his path.
This probably makes me the most unenlightened woman out there, and you’re all probably pitying me for letting the man “get me down” and all… but wow. Am I glad to be on this end of the deal, where I can do all the work of making home a place of complete rest and sanctuary for my husband, who does so much for us, joyfully and gladly.
Thank you, Wes, for being such a wonderful provider and for being your best for Christ. I love you so much and am so thankful for you, even if you’ll never be able to find that remote control on your own…