Yesterday, I posted about the potential pitfalls to both men and women in reading/watching books/movies/websites that are sensual. I know we can all argue and disagree on what exactly fits into the category of “too far” and “too much,” and I know that if you’re caught in this particular stronghold, you’ll have plenty of self-reasoned justification for all that you allow yourself to enjoy.
– Tell your spouse. When men struggling with porn addictions come to Wes for counseling, he tells them to tell their wives. Accountability with other men is okay, but it’s not nearly as effective as sharing your struggles with a spouse who has something at stake as well when it comes to your moral purity. Will it be difficult to have these talks? Yes. Will it hurt her? Yes. Will her reaction make you all that more determined to never fall again? Yes. Which is why telling your spouse will be far greater accountability than telling anyone else.
– Have your internet capable devices sync to your spouse’s. In our house, we know that transperancy will keep theoretical, potential downfalls from becoming reality. So, we go overboard with this. Wes can’t look at anything anywhere – at work, on his iPad, on his phone – without his browsing history showing up on my phone. And vice versa. Do I trust my husband? Absolutely. Do I think that he calls himself to a higher standard online because he knows I can see what he’s looking at? Absolutely. That’s taking accountability a step further.
– Share passwords for all of your personal, individual social networking sites and your email accounts with your spouse. Wes’s email shows up in my inbox, and my email shows up in his inbox. Work email, too? Yes. Again, less of a trust issue and more of an accountability issue.
– Keep only one, shared Amazon account. Every book I download gets sent to Wes’s devices as well, along with emails about the books I’ve ordered. Same with my library account. And he asks for specifics on books, about the content. Does he trust me? Yes. Do I call myself to a higher standard of what I read because I know he can see it, too? Absolutely.