I was in a great mood the other day.
I woke up, spent time in God’s Word, prayed, and went on with my everyday tasks, ever mindful of the One I belong to and His purpose for the ones I serve. Praying with them as they each woke up, telling Wes how much I love him and trust him, how much I respect what he does at church, how God is using him. Prayers over Ana and Emma, telling them both that God has a good plan for them, that they’re becoming who He wants them to be, and that they bring such joy to His heart. Wes, Ana, and Emma were getting all the good that God had given to me, being edified and uplifted by what God had spoken to my heart earlier. Everyone felt encouraged, everyone knew they were loved, everyone was praising God, and it was a GOOD day.
Then, I went to sleep. And woke up late the next morning.
No time for the Word of God and no time for prayer, so it was all me, in my flesh and my own strength, as I went about my everyday tasks. I had no time to contemplate Christ’s purpose for anyone because we were LATE, emotions were high, fuses were short, and no one was happy. I was snippy with Wes, who was, in turn, snippy with everyone else. I was quick to criticize the girls, who were, in turn, quick to quarrel with one another. Everyone left mad, and it was a BAD day.
I set the mood. I did it. And I do it every day, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
It’s a terrible, horrible power we have as keepers of the home, isn’t it?
We can speak truth, the very words and heart of God, and magnify it for those we love, to build them up and draw them closer to Him. Or we can speak critical words and share our bitter attitudes and plant those ideas and emotions in the hearts of those who are closest to us. And the distance between the two possibilities is not so great — it’s just a simple difference of whether or not I choose to be His on any given day.
When I was younger, my sinful flesh affected me and only me most days. But now, my choice to walk in anything other than His truth and His grace gravely and supremely affects three other people. And as a pastor’s wife, it can affect and poison a church, as I can fail Christ and plant discord and strife in the pastor’s heart without even intending to, simply because I allow myself to have a bitter heart. We all have to answer for our own sins, of course, but I’m not without excuse when it comes to how I help or hinder the walks of those closest to me.
Jesus, please help me to be Yours entirely and completely, not only for Your glorification and my own satisfaction in You but for the sake of my husband and my children, who are profoundly affected by how I follow You.