Ana, when calling my parents on their regular cell phone after doing FaceTime with Wes’s parents on their smartphones, “They use one of those old timey phones that doesn’t have FaceTime.” I’m not even sure they know that phones CAN do FaceTime because they? Are old timey themselves.
Wes to Ana, regarding Emmett, the church member who locks up the building, and why he’s always there late, “Well, he has an important job here.” Ana to Wes, “Does he own the church?” Well, he does have all the keys…
Emma to me, looking at a list of student names from her class, “Jesus is not in my class!” Me to Emma, “Is there a boy whose name sounds like Hay-sus?” Emma to me, “Yeah! But he is not Jesus!” Not THAT Jesus, at least.
Emma to me, on our way to school, “We need a church van to go to school.” She remembers that one time in Oklahoma when Papi picked her up from Pre-K in the church van… what a thrill that was!
Ana to me, while we were in traffic, “You should use your horn more.” She looks so much like Wes that I wonder if she got any of me… then, she says something like this. Like mother, like daughter.
Emma to Wes, when he said that I already have enough diamonds on my left hand and don’t require any more (ahem), “She has another hand, though.” She’s going to make such an awesome wife one day, y’all.
Emma to me, regarding a boy in her class, “I know he goes to church because he wears a cross. And, Mommy, Jesus is on his cross!” I can probably guess what kind of church her friend goes to with this information.
Emma to us, after school, “I have a surprise in my pants!” Me to Emma, “I’m not even sure I want to ask.” Ana to Emma, “Yeah, because that is GROSS, Emma.” Turns out it was because she didn’t have pockets, needed to store an important piece of paper, etc. Still gross but understandable, at least.
Ana, yelling at me while we were working out together, “That is NOT a push up, Mommy!” Hello, tiny boot camp instructor!
One thought on “Faulkette Funnies”
Bwhahaha! You really should consider putting ALL of these one-liners into a book named, appropriately, Faulkette Funnies! It would be a BIG seller 🙂