Faulkette Funnies

Some Faulkette funnies for your Friday… enjoy!

Emma to me, “Mommy, I love the food you cook.”  Ana to Wes, “Papi, I love the money you make.”  She really thought she was being sweet when she said this, too.

Ana, griping about getting the wrong gender-specific toys in her Happy Meal, “You know, I just don’t need a boy toy.  But if I end up with a boy toy one day, I’ll just have to learn to deal with it.”  And when Wes and I couldn’t stop laughing, “What?!  Mommy, did you get a boy toy once?”  I did, and he’s sitting right beside me.  Woo, woo!  (He IS younger than me, y’all.)

Em to me, gasping in horror when I told her that I was joking when I said something that wasn’t true, “Mommy, that is LYING!  And God’s Word says we are not supposed to LIE!”  Conviction via Faulkettes.

Ana to Emma, “You know, you can’t breathe and talk at the same time.  So maybe you should stop talking, Emma.”  Says the girl who should have suffocated long ago, given the amount of time she herself spends jabbering away.

Emma to me, sympathetically, on a particularly stressful day when neither girl would listen, “Having kids is hard sometimes, huh?”  Yes.  Yes, it is.

Ana, praying over breakfast, “And, God, thank You for Walt Disney.  Because if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be able to go to Walt Disney World.”  Amen.

Ana, when Wes told the girls that he was taking me on a date, “You haven’t taken ME out on a date.” And Em to him when he said he’d have to take all three of us out on a date to amend that problem, “Make it somewhere romantical!”  Yes, I said romantical.

Ana to us, “If we had a baby brother, I’d want to name him Rico.” Wes and me, at the exact same time, “Can his middle name be Suave?” THIS is what it means to be one flesh, y’all.

Ana, watching a video of Dwight Howard, “He doesn’t have to jump very high to reach the basket.” Ana Faulk, unimpressed by the Rockets’ new big man.

Overheard in the backseat, Ana to Em, “If you stick your fingers in your nose and blow really hard, air will come out your ears!” I can’t make these things up.

Me to Em, after I told her that her black shoes didn’t match her outfit, “Go get your pink shoes.” A minute later, she was back with white shoes. When I asked about the pink shoes, she sighed and said, “Mommy, white goes with EVERYTHING.” Praying for patience with this miniature fashionista.

Ana to Em, when Em was bemoaning Houston’s lack of snow (in July, no less), “That’s just the way it is, and you have to live it. Welcome to my world, Emma!”  She has it SO hard.

Teaching Wednesday night kids’ church, and I ask, “Has anyone ever wronged you like Laban wronged Jacob?” Ana to me, “Well, Emma sins against me ALL the TIME!” God bless our children’s ministry leaders for the Faulk family drama they must hear about every week.  (And kudos to Ana for calling Em’s behavior what it is. SIN! Said with plenty of righteous indignation!)

The girls have decided that they’re going to have their own restaurants. Emma’s will be called “Emma’s Pizza Pick Up,” and Ana’s will be called “AnaMama’s Honeyruckle Hut.” I have no idea what a honeyruckle is, but I’d go just on the basis of the name alone.  (Ana to me, “And the jars won’t be shaped like bears — they’ll be shaped like ME!”  Oh, my.)

Hope you have a great weekend, friends!

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