Faulkette Funnies

Some Faulkette funnies for your Friday…

Emma to me, “I’m the youngest in our family, which means I will be the last one to die!”  Then, after some thought, “I’ll be sad, though, because there will be no one to play with when you’re all dead.  Except for my husband.  Maybe I can play with him.”  This was so totally my reasoning behind marrying a younger man.  He won’t be dead like everyone else, so I’ll still have someone to play with.

Ana to Nana, “You got a lot of these gummy bears.  They must have been cheap!”  Because Ana knows that if it’s on sale, Mommy picks up more than one, so surely Nana must as well.

Ana to me, when Emma kept mixing up the terms “beauty pageant” and “fashion show,” with great despair in her voice, “But, Mommy, Emma HAS to get the vocabulary right!”  The world will, in fact, END if she doesn’t.  Clearly.

Emma to herself on the way to school, “It feels like I forgot to put on panties under these jeans today!”  Ana to Emma, “That is GROSS, Emma.”  I agree.

Ana, after counting the number of times Peter denied Jesus during the Good Friday sermon, “Cockadoodledo!”  Excellent sound effects.  (And Bible story recall!)

Emma to Wes, as she snuggled him, “Sometimes it’s good to just rest our eyes, Papi.”  You’re preaching to the choir, Emma.

Ana to me, regarding her haircut, “There’s a problem with this haircut.”  Me to Ana, “Oh?  What’s that?”  Ana to me, “Well, it’s made me vain.”  Score one for self-awareness.

Emma to me, “I told my friend [name of kid in her class] that you write books.  And he asked if you’re famous.  And I said no.  But you should be, Mommy.”  I’m content if you’re the only one who thinks that, Emma.

Wes to Ana, pointing to his face, “You’re going to grow up to look like this.  With a beard even!”  Ana to Wes, “No, because I’m a woman.”  Wes to her, “Not yet!”  Ana to him, “Soon enough!”  And with that, Wes needs therapy.

Emma to Ana this morning, after Ana told her about the cost of the GT camp I signed her up for, “But Mommy doesn’t have any money!” I’ve been telling them their whole lives that I have no money for all the crazy things they want, and they’ve finally gotten it. Mommy doesn’t have any money! My job here is done.

Have a great weekend, friends!

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